


Raise the anchor (put away your dark hearts)

by SanieBrainie



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bad Writing, F/M, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Park Seonghwa is Whipped, Self-Acceptance, deadass tho my writing sucks, i thinkk??, im trash, jongho is aged up one year, no literally, this is probably gonna be longish tho so buckle up??
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:54:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27572662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SanieBrainie/pseuds/SanieBrainie
Summary: please please please don't read this, i know this is a public platform but sksafgkflI can't even write a summary for this I apologizeee but HEY you shouldn't even be reading it either soooalso i will probably update this story veryyyy slowlyyy, so it really is in your best interest to NOT read it lmao
Relationships: Choi Jongho/Jung Wooyoung, Choi Jongho/Song Mingi, Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Kang Yeosang/Original Character(s), Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Kudos: 8





	1. Sunflower

Jongho thought back to when he was a kid. When he would run around the block, smiling out of joy every time his friend yelled for him to wait up. How he played without a care in the world, paying attention only to when the sun set so that his mom wouldn’t scold him for staying out too late. 

Jongho opened his eyes to stare at the yellow-toned ceiling of his apartment and sighed for what seemed to be the hundredth time that night. He turned onto his side rubbing his eyes, and almost swore when he saw Wooyoung staring back at him from the opposing bed. Wooyoung giggled as Jongho dramatically clutched his heart.

“Sorry I was just wondering when you would finally sleep, didn’t know you would get jump scared.”

Jongho raised his eyebrows at Wooyoung once he had his heart under control, “Okay first off who wouldn’t get scared and also who are you to talk, did you forget you're also awake right now?”

“Touché”

Jongho reached for his phone resting under his pillow and groaned upon seen the time.

“It’s almost fucking 3 a.m. and I have class at 7. What the fuck is college.”

Wooyoung was now sitting up in bed, and managed to let out a few words of agreement before a yawn cut him off.

Jongho settled on checking his notifications ignoring the fact that class started in 4 hours and silence drowned the room. He was about to check his email when he heard the sound of their refrigerator opening. Jongho smiled in the direction of the kitchen, opening his mouth but was beat to it.

“Before you say anything this does NOT count as breaking my diet, I am simply indulging in breakfast early.”

Jongho let out a loud laugh, deciding there was no point in being quiet at this hour when both of them were already awake. He felt his muscles tense and bones crack as he got up from his bed, leading him to grumble about how college fucked him up.

He made his way through the apartment shrouded in darkness to the dining table, which was really the kitchen counter since both of them were too broke and too busy to buy one. He grabbed a stool and sat besides Wooyoung, thanking him when he got passed a bowl of microwaved mac and cheese. He was about to mention how Wooyoung was eating macaroni for breakfast but Wooyoung broke the comfortable silence first,

“So, has anything been stressing you out lately? Don’t mean to be nosey but you seemed so like, dejected this past week and you haven’t been sleeping that much.”

Jongho refrained from mentioning the fact that Wooyoung stayed up even more than him and just sighed, “To be honest, I don’t know what's up with me either.”

Jongho thought back to what kept him from falling asleep last night and today, the constant memories of youth being replayed in his head.

“I think I’m feeling homesick maybe? I don’t know but I keep thinking back to how it was when I was younger you know, just not caring about anything and not worrying about random stuff.”

He felt Wooyoung intertwine their fingers, giving Jongho’s hand a reassuring squeeze. Jongho felt his heartbeat quicken.

He stood up abruptly, not missing the surprised look on Wooyoung's face nor the echoing noise of the stool’s wooden legs screeching against the hardwood floor.

“I’m gonna try and go back to sleep, you never know, maybe its the lack of sleep getting to me.”

He slipped his hand out and turned before he could see the look on Wooyoung’s face. 


	2. Anemone

The sun glowed a bright pink, forcing Jongho to maintain a constant squint. He took in the sky's transition from a lavender to midnight purple, he thought it looked hauntingly beautiful on the horizon. He glanced down at the violet glow left on the gravel road from the sun’s strong rays, noting every passing rock and crevice in order to not slow his march up the trail. He heard his friend calling out to him from far away. Jongho smiled and fastened his pace, wanting to catch up with him. Suddenly, he felt chills, traveling along his spine, reaching from the top of his head to his toes, summoning a primal fear within him. He started to run.

The purple ocean of light sourced from the sun and sky grew brighter, nearly taking over his vision with its glow. Panic coursed through his body. He had to find his friend. He had to outrun the light. He couldn’t see where he was going through the wall of light obstructing his vision- the trail in front of him slowly being consumed by the purple haze. He felt his leg catch on something along the path. Jongho braced for the fall, the ground rushing up to meet his face…

Jongho sprang up sweating. He quickly glanced around his apartment, surveying the surroundings drowned in the darkness of early morning, before letting himself take a clutter of deep breaths. It took a few seconds for him to refocus his eyes, before thinking back to his dream.

If Jongho hadn’t been so embarrassed by being scared by a literal ray of purple light, he might have texted Yeosang or Wooyoung about how weird the nightmare was. Thinking of Wooyoung, Jongho turned to his left, eyes widening when he didn’t see any figure on the bed next to him. He blinked a couple of times before a feeling of slight panic spread throughout his stomach. Jongho reached under his pillow yet again to text Wooyoung before audibly gasping at what time it was.

It was 7:10 a.m. Ten minutes after he was _supposed_ to be in class.

Jongho tossed his blankets off him with a string of curse words and ran to the bathroom. He thought about calling Yeosang on the way there and after opening his phone realized the boy was already in class unlike him.

**YeoYeo**

yo ur late

bro you coming

are you dead?

why the fuck are you leaving me alone

if you’re skipping without me ima beat ur ass

Jongho hurried to turn on the faucet and wet his toothbrush, his free hand contouring to be able to text Yeosang at least _somewhat_ coherent phrases.

**Jong-a fucking wall-ho**

i jst fuckig wok up

alarm was of for some dumbas reson

Not wanting to suffer through anymore spelling mistakes, Jongho focused on not looking like he just rose from the dead- which turned out to be quite the challenge. After slapping sunscreen and deodorant on in record time, wearing the same sweats he slept in and simply changing his shirt, he ran out of the apartment.

It was times like today when Jongho cursed living off campus- the long trek to school taking an astounding 15 minutes, and that's if he sped through all the red lights with a death wish. The only good thing that came out of his living situation with Wooyoung was being able to party without Seonghwa freaking out over the chance of getting tattled on by campus goody-two-shoes

Jongho paused his chaotic start of a morning at the thought of his roommate. He thought back to last night’s conversation, causing an inward groan. It wasn’t the first time his dislike of physical contact got in the way but he just couldn’t help it, something about it made his stomach turn and coil in the most unpleasant of ways and his heart pound ever since he was a teenager in high school. Jongho thought about how he ended the conversation with Wooyoung and groaned out loud this time. Wooyoung only wanted to help him and he responded by just brushing him off and ignoring his effort.

Jongho sighed and unlocked his car, an old model passed down from his parents. Jongho has grown to know Wooyoung's tendencies since the start of summer, which was when they first met and decided to room together. He just knew Wooyoung would overthink the encounter and somehow find a way to blame himself. Jongho pulled out his phone, making a mental note to apologize to Wooyoung, before sending Yeosang a text.

**Jong-a fucking wall- ho**

Just got in my car, im coming soon

**YeoYeo**

dont text and drive dumbass

**Jong-a fucking wall- ho**

im not driving yet jeez

ik its surprising but i actually DONT have a death wish

**YeoYeo**

ok but y arent u driving? ur late?

read~ 7:15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oop posted smth- did not expect that lmao. Hope everyone has a great day or night because everyone deserves it!


	3. Rose

Jongho slid into the seat at the back of the lecture hall with utmost cautiousness, trying to attract the least attention possible. He visible cringed when he made eye contact with his professor, ducking down, pretending to take out something from his backpack. The snickers from Yeosang didn’t help either.

“Nice of you to finally show up. Only, what was it now, thirty minutes late?”

Jongho leveled Yeosang with a glare before he sighed, the fast paced morning finally hitting him, “Yeah, thirty minutes late and I already want this class to be over.”

He slumped over the desk as if he was deflating, hoping the shock of the cold desk would be enough to wake him up. Yeosang offered a sympathetic, slightly sarcastic, pat on the shoulder at the sight of the younger.

“Well I mean you _did_ have the option to skip so I don’t know man, kind of on you there.”

Jongho deadpanned Yeosang as best as he could from his bent position, “Didn’t you literally say you would beat my ass if I ditched?”

Yeosang only grinned at the question, “That only applies if you ditched without _me_. Plus, have you seen yourself? You could fucking punt me dude.”

Jongho and Yeosang both silently cracked up at that one. 

The remainder of class was a combination of Yeosang playing Osu on his computer and Jongho trying to pay attention, putting to use the last bits of his patience. It ended up being quite the challenge, seeing that their professor talked at a rough estimate of 10 words per minute and had managed to stray off topic seven fucking times, a new record by the way. Jongho would be impressed by the milestone but the bitch was a hard grader and therefore deserved no mercy. As Yeosang would say, ‘ _If they’re a hard grader, just grab a taser_ ’.

Jongho decided he definitely lost the battle of paying attention when Yeosang had to elbow him in the ribs to single that class was over. It wasn’t his fault daydreaming about his alternate life as a surfer in America was more engaging than the gremlin speaking in the front of the class. He told Yeosang such and was met with an eye roll.

“Trust me, all you will find in America is people that talk far too loud and eat grease for breakfast.”

“Yeah yeah, doesn’t mean I can’t dream.” Jongho huffed.

Yeosang and his family took yearly trips to the States, an after effect of his father’s job. With how down to earth Yeosang was, you wouldn’t have guessed the pure stacks his family had, much to Jongho’s liking. Jongho had mentioned on many occasions that if they were to go on a road trip it was only fair it would funded by the Kangs, seeing as everyone else in their friend group fit the broke college kid stereotype almost a little too well.

Once Jongho packed his computer and notebook back into his bag, the two made their way down the halls to their daily meet up spot: the underground parking lot. Did they look like delinquents, huddled in a parking garage with Yeosang’s blonde mullet secured with a beanie and Jongho’s black hair and hobo like appearance, yes. Yes they in fact did. Jongho took great pride in that.

Jongho sat down on the cracked concrete next to Yeosang, making small talk about how he got zero fucking sleep and would definitely be sleeping through the rest of the day. He saw Yeosang glance behind him and smile, making Jongho zone in on the sound of footsteps behind him. 

“Ayy, Wooyoung, what’s up?” Yeosang smiled, leaving his hand in the air for a high five.

Jongho turned just in time to watch Wooyoung send Yeosang a million dollar smile and return the high five. He sat down with a thump next to Yeosang, across from Jongho. Immediately jumping into story,

“Guys, guess what just fucking happened.”

Yeosang and Jongho opened their mouth only to be interrupted by the man himself, “Actually don’t that will take too long.

“Basically, you know how I'm in class with Seonghwa and Strawberry dude right? Listen, we had to choose groups for a project and Strawberry man got out of his seat, walked across half of the class and joined me and Seonghwa’s group- and that's not all oh no- Seonghwa was _flirting_! Fucking flirting right in front of my fucking salad!”

Jongho gaped while Yeosang muttered his disbelief, “No way, _Seonghwa_ flirting? I can’t trust you as a source, there is no way.”

Wooyoung shuddered, “Trust me I feel the same way and I was there.”

Jongho let out a laugh before squinting at the entrance to the parking lot.

“Oh shit he’s here act normal you guys.” Jongho hissed at the two who were still making jokes about seeing player Seonghwa in action.

They crawled around and after a bit of struggle, settled on all sitting criss-cross apple sauce with their version of an innocent smile on their face.

Jongho tried to stifle a laugh as the oldest of their friend group shook his head.

“Just what the fuck are you guys doing.”

“ _Just_ telling them what a flirt you were in clas-” Wooyoung yelped and hurried to get up as Seonghwa gunned for him, “It was a joke, a joke I swear!”

Jongho simply giggled at the sight of Wooyoung getting chased and Seonghwa’s face being a few shades redder than when he first came.

Once the group finally settled down they all pressed Seonghwa for the juicy details.

“And don't lie, I saw you two talking after class!” Wooyoung piped up, earning a smack from Seonghwa.

“If you must know I, uh,” Seonghwa started, face darkening at the wide eyes of his friends. He took a deep breath, “Managed-to-get-his-number-and-he-invited-me-to-go-to-a-party-one-of-his-friends-are-throwing.”

There was a beat of silence before a chorus of ‘fuck yeah’ bounced off the walls of the garage. Seonghwa dropped his face into his hands as Jongho clapped him on the back.

“About time if you ask me,” Yeosang cheered, “You’ve been crushing on Strawberry man since the start of the year.”

Seonghwa let out another groan, muffled by his hands before muttering, “His name is Hongjoong.”

“Hongjoong!” Wooyoung cried, “What a beautiful name for a beautiful face amiright.”

That earned him yet another slap from Seonghwa.

Seonghwa suddenly turned serious, hushing them all and making them all lean in, “Okay sorry but I kind of panicked and um… basically y'all have to come with me on Friday to the party.”

Yeosang and Wooyoung cheered while Jongho groaned. It was Thursday which meant he only had tonight to catch up on sleep before staying up for the party.

Seonghwa shot him a knowing glance and started, “Wait you don’t have to go if you want to-”

But Jongho shook his head. He needed to get his mind off of life, and what better way to do so then to watch Seonghwa’s attempts at flirting, even with the loss of sleep it sounded like a blast.

“I will go under the condition that you guys _don’t_ get totally wasted and I have to suffer through driving you all home at 4 a.m.”

He leveled each friend with a stare and Wooyoung sighed but gave in first, “I guess I will _try_ to reel myself in this time.”

Yeosang scoffed letting a smirk rest on his face, “You said that last time and then you went home with, what was his name again, San? Was it?”

Wooyoung blushed fifty shades of pink before throwing his water bottle at Yeosang, who managed to dodge the weapon with a laugh. Jongho and Seonghwa locked eyes and smiled at the others’ banter, quite used to it by now.

After deciding to meet up at Wooyoung and Jongho’s apartment to get ready for the party, and Yeosang as the designated driver back, their plans were set.

Jongho couldn’t help but be excited, his last party was a month ago and he missed the lifestyle he had lived during his freshman year. He made a promise to himself to take it easy and let go, it was a party after all, as long as there was music and alcohol, what could go that badly?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol i finally got around to writing this and it was sm fun writing banter but there are probably so many typos sdghfkf, hope everyone is having a nice day/night!!


End file.
